Just floating by

I'm finally going to see the Wallace and gromit film this evening. I don't care that its a kiddies film- really I never left my childhood. It's the break I need form the barrage of course work. I'm up to my eyeballs in my dissertation not to mention an essay on Duetoronomy 12-26 to be working on. As usual I seem to lull about as though I'm on a mechanical converyorbelt until every so often someone gives me a prod and I realise that there is life beyond my degree. A scary thought admittedly because it means I need to do a lot of thinking about my future which is straggle because until a couple of years ago I never really thought I had one.

I just feel so tired at the moment, drained even and its when I'm in this state I forget what is going on around me. I forget about all the blessings in life. I forget all of God's promises to me. I forget all the people that are around me because all I want to do right now is sleep. I was talking to one of the freshers this afternoon and she reminded of some amazing stuff from Christian union on Tuesday. We run around living our lives filling it with stuff that really isn't that important. We do degrees and then at the end of 3 years think what now. We think that things like careers, relationships and job, qualifications will fulfill us and make us truly happy but then we qualify, find a relationship, find thee job of our dreams and yet still feel empty. Why do we always think that the grass is greener on the other side? We strive for things that are really nice and likened to shiny things but they don't really matter. The bottom line is that I believe every human being has a God shaped hole in them and we are trying to ignore that hole. We are trying to fill it with anything and everything we can think of that we think is desirable and then are unsatisfied. I can't help thinking that I keep on doing this, going to lectures, writing essays, filling my days with meetings- prayer meetings even and yet I'm still ignoring this God shaped hole. I often don't think about what I'm doing, I don't recognize that I'm living my life as though I'm on a production line until someone comes along and reminds me that life isn't about getting a nice cushy 9-5 Job(8-3:30 for teachers!). Life is about worship. I was created to worship God and I spend too much time not doing it. I just let myself float along, not thinking, not feeling, just getting on and yet wondering why I feel so flat.

Panic!!!

I have my first exam tomorrow and I don't know anything. Too much stuff and too many blokes with German names that all sound the same. Es gipt nischt gut!!! Me not liking this exam thi ng. I am so not prepared for this exam its not funny. Tomorrow's is the worst of the lot of them. I just can't wait till its over.
As well at that, I still haven't sorted my dissertation. I've got work comingm out of my ears!

Finally!

It took the Carphone warehouse 5 days to finally connect my phone. It works- I can make calls and send text messages and everything- trae exciting. I know I know, its no big deal really but I am a mobile phone junkie. I feel lost without it and when most people only have your mobile number I did feel a bit like I'd lost touch with the world. I still need to write a nasty letter of complaint to the carphone warehouse. I might try and bill them for all the money I spenk calling various call centres to get my phone fixed. I'd probably be lucky if I even manage to get an appology out of them. Normally I'd just let it go and not use that company again but I'm stuck with a 12 month contract with them now. I just have to ride it out and hope and pray that nothing else goes wrong. I must admit that it was slightly amusing when one of the call centre people' advice for me was to pray! Which I did do eventually! It just seemed in my head that it was such a silly trivial prayer and was wasting God's time which is rediculous. We can take all things to God. I spend so much time pointing this out to everyone else but somethimes I just have to listen to my own advice.When I finally prayed, my phone started working 2 hours later. It would have sounded like such a silly prayer to make but in the end it was the hundreds of thousands on top of the icing on the cake. When your stress levels are so high that you start crying over a phone I guess you've got to stand back from your pride and let God in. I keep on learning this lesson and re-learning it. Its amazing how quickly you forget things when the slightest bit of stress comes your way.

Carphone Warehouse are Evil

Never buy anything from the carphone warehouse. I decided the other week to change my contract. They told me it would take 10 days- fair enough. However my phone was supposed to be connected 3 days ago. My orange phone has been disconnected- I have no mobile phone- I'm going nuts!!! So far I reckon I have spent at least an hour and a half phoning various call centres, being sent from pillar to post and so far my phone still doesn't work- grrrrr!!! I never knew how many incompetent people there are working in call centres! The standard phone call seems to be me listening to some automated message for about 5 minutes, then being put on hold to listen to awful on hold music (although the last one gave me Sheryl Crow to listen to - not great but definitely an improvement on all the other stuff), then I finally get through to someone, explain the situation, then they hum and hare over which department I should be put through to, only to be put through another automated voice message, then put on hold again- more ghastly music, then finally to speak to another human being as incompetent as the first who suggests I go back and phone orange, then I point out that I no longer have an account with orange, then I get put through to Carphone warehouse O2, more of that delightful on hold music, finally get through to someone, explain the whole situation again and to be told that there was a technical fault, they will try to get my phone sorted as soon as possible and the best advice they can give me is to turn my phone off and check it every hour in case my phone is sorted. Oh and of course, they are very sorry. So far I have had 4 or 5 conversations that have gone like this. Oh what joy.

AAAHGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The day of the mundane

So much to do, so little time, all of it dull. I've got revision coming out of my ears, essays to write, notes to sort, prayer meetings to organize, dissertation to decide...I feel like I have once again turned into an auto-pilot zombie lacking any emotional capacity to notice what on earth is going on. The best thing is that I have another month of this. I guess I'm trying not to think about it because when I finally do, it will dawn on me how much trouble I'm in because I have no time or brain! Until that great awakening, I'll just carry on flitting around vacantly.

Dedicated to Deborah

I have had my wrist slapped and have been severely reprimanded by my housemate for not blogging frequently enough. This is my attempt to make amends to all you wonderful people who oh so love to read my blogs. Since my last blog, Luke has met my mum and my best friend.(fast mover) My mum now seems to think she has a second son and KT sent me a text saying "I like this one, I think you should keep him". Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! I suppose I could feed and water him and take him for walks round the blocks every day.
My college work actually is getting done now. I've been reading all about the early church fathers, about Justin Martyr and Iranaeus of Lyon and other such patristic authors. Very interesting. Problem is that my essay in on the council of Chalcedon and not patristics but its kind of related. Its giving me the background I need for my essay. Oh what fun essays are. I really hate essays- why oh why did i choose to do a theology degree!
I really want to write lots of stuff about Luke but I fear I am verging on the nauseating. I think if I mention his name again, Deborah might possibly hit me. Or Pete will. Or both! Pete and I want to the Brixton academy on Saturday to see Feeder and all I could talk about was how depressingly and blissfully happy I was. I think Pete's praying for me.
Hmmmm, I wonder what I should cook for my small group on Thursday. Well- it was only a matter of time before I started talking about food again. I shall have a ponder.
Maybe ratatoue.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm

The makings of a happy carrot

Skippy is a very happy carrot indeed. The reason why responds to the name of Luke! I am currently in a state of nauseating bliss and loving every minute of it!Having had a long...No wait sorry- a very long conversation on Friday night and by long I mean around about 4 hours, My mate Luke and I decided that actually we really quite like each other so now we are the latest CU couple casualty. I think Deborah is despairing of the endless phone calls and text messages. (well- if we're going to be really nauseating, we've got to do it properly!) I get the strong impression that she really wants to say eewwwwwwwwwww yuck! But this far she has been quite restrained.
Since Friday, I have met his family and they are really lovely. I don't do things by halves- by his family I mean, mum dad, brother, granddad, aunts and cousins. I think his family think I'm really keen. I just like to look at it as getting it over and done with. Having said that though, his family are really lovely. That and his mum got out the baby photos! Luke ofcourse was really appreciative of that one. They were rather disappointingly thin on the ground on embarrassing stories. They weren't able to tell me anything Luke hadn't already told me, with the exception of one story which I couldn't possibly repeat!
Having survived the family, we got round to having our first date yesterday. Before we started seeing eachother, I wouldn't have had Luke down as a soppy one. He took me to see Pooh's heffalump movie- tre cool. True to form, I got very excited every time I saw Eeyore. I then spent the next couple of hours trying and failing miserably to prize out of Luke where we were going for dinner. Now this is the really slushy bit- sick bags at the ready- He took me for a dinner cruise along the Thames- very swanky! I think I spent the first half hour going' oh my Goodness- I can't believe you've done this!'. We then proceeded to try and suss out what all the glasses were for. This was one of those dinners where you get so many sets of cutlery that you don't know what to do with. Again, I wouldn't have had Luke down as such a romantic. I don't think he'll be able to live this down fro quite a while. I did try and tell him that I would have been perfectly happy with a bag of chips from the chip van at waterloo but hey! He said he wanted to give me an eveing that I'd always remember and I don't think I will be forgetting it in a hurry.
Best thing of all- he bought me a bag of haribo. Alas- I am easily pleased!