Thanksgiving

Yesterday my homegroup had a belated thanksgiving. I never would have thought of topping sweet potatoes with marshmallows. Sounds revolting but its sooooo good. The best bit about thanksgiving though has to be the bit every person says what they are thankful for. You sit there listening to all these different things and realise how blessed you are, how many gifts God lavishes on us.

Its not often that my course helps to strengthen what a believe but a few weeks ago I had to read through the whole of the book of Leviticus for a lecture. Now most people would suggest that if you want to read the whole bible cover to cover, Leviticus is not the place to start. The reason why is because its full of so many rules and regulations, covering so many different things from sin offerings to how to treat mildew. A lot of people say its really dull but I really enjoyed reading it. I enjoyed reading it because it shows how holy God is. So holy that only one person can have access to God for one day a year in the holy of holies. For everyone to be right with God, there were so many things that had to be done. It really makes you thankful for Jesus. Reading Leviticus and following the law seems so hard. I'd struggle to remember all these different sacrifices and practices never mind actually being able to carry them out. I'd never be able to do it and I'd never be able to come to a place where I can sit in God's presence and just be. Because of what Jesus did for me, for mankind on the cross 2000 years ago I can cme before the heavenly throne and worship him-its pretty amazing. We have this very cushy fuzzy understanding of God's love and frequently forget about how holy God is. He can not and will not tolerate sin. Leviticus makes that very clear. I shouldn't be anywhere near God. I could never be good enough no matter what I do, how hard I try. But because of Jesus, I can come into God's presence, rest in him, be with him, talk to him and be his child, all because one man was the perfect sacrifice. And for that I am thankful.

Fix You

Time:3:40pm
Where:home missing lecture
Drinking:Tea
Wearing:Jeans and hoodie
Thinking:I hate life
Listening to :Fix you by coldplay (I know coldplay is a little depressing but go with me on this one)

That song could be the sound track of my life at the moment. I feel really low and I'm trying to piece together all the shards of my life. I was talking to the college chaplain earlier and he said that God's not going to let me go. I believe that I really do. (this is where stubbornness comes in handy). I know he wont. It just sometimes helps to have someone else say it.

I'd never paid so much attention to the lyrics before and they just seem to really speak into the situation that I'm in right now, how I'm thinking, how I'm feeling. I feel really strongly that these lyrics would be what God is trying to say to me right now.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Broken

I feel a house of cards has fallen
I feel hopelessly alone
I feel I am lost without him
I feel I am broken

I feel used and rejected
I feel tears fall down my face
I feel every day is harder
I feel I am broken

I feel empty and I'm useless
I feel torn and I'm bruised
I feel hope no longer lives here
I feel I am broken

I feel inside I am screaming
I feel I wish I was numb
I feel this pain is never ending
I feel I am broken

Aparently I'm an Idealist

I did this quiz and both me and my house mate Debs think that this sums me up quite well.

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test